LAMOUR LAMORGUE

: forget. no, regret.

 

i need to know, i need to know it wasn’t all worthless

i need to know that somehow there, is someone out there,

to hear the words i haven’t said

 

but my words, they’re too late, i’ve kept them unspoken

unspeakable, unusable, and I, I am pretty fucking broken

with regret, and so i come by,

i need to become spoken,

before i hold on to, all of this,  regret.

 

but through the months, this regret, i’ve kept silent,

things kept silent, things suppressed,

but without knowing, my regret will linger

 

but as time goes by, maybe ill forget,

if not, if i don’t forget,

i will live my entire life, surprised in regret.

: FUCK YOU LAUREN, CANDOUR.

I’M NOT GOING TO REPLACE YOU, YOU SAID,
YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, YOU SAID
YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE ELSE, YOU SAID
NO MATTER HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU SAID
I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR 3AM HUGS, YOU SAID

YOU LIED.

IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS SINCE WE LAST HUGGED,
THREE MONTHS SINCE WE LAST SPOKE,
THREE MONTHS SINCE WE WERE EACH OTHERS 3AM HUGS

YOU LIED.

YOU BLAME ME FOR ALL OF THIS, MIS-COMMUNICATION IS TO BLAME.
YOU BLAME ME FOR ALL OF THIS, IN REALITY, YOU’RE TO BLAME.
NOT A WORD, NOT A PEEP, NOT A SOUND WAS MADE, HOW WAS I TO FUCKING KNOW, YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY MY FUCKING NAME.

: D A R K N E S S

I don’t want to be darkness anymore,

I want to be the reason for the sparkle in someones eyes,

I want to be the reason that someones excitement is vibrant.

I don’t want to be the reason for someones tears,

I don’t want to be darkness anymore,

I want to be a fire that’s touchable, a brighting flame.

: S O N G S 

S O N G S—

friendships are like songs. 

all songs have the ups, the downs, the beats, the thought provoking sections and some songs have the sections that make you cry. 

our friendship was like the sad songs, constant dragging and constant sadness, all enjoyment had been removed and replaced with sad acoustics and shaking bodies.

like all songs our friendship ended, like all songs our friendship went silent, songs last minutes, sometimes hours, our song lasted years, the difference between our song and others? when our song started it was sad, then it was happy and enjoyful and the best song id ever heard, but as the song dragged on the song got sad, unlike other songs our song ended without us wanting more. 

songs end on a beat, a pulse, making you want more – our song, our beautifully fucked up song ended because of a night than we don’t want to talk about, that we both want forgotten, our song ended because of a night. 

: 2 0 1 5

2015 was never going to be a good year, from the start of January to the end of April, things were breaking, my world was shaking.

At the start of this year a promise was made, a broken promise, a promise to me from a friend that no matter what they’d be there until the end.

The end hasn’t happened yet, and we haven’t spoken in weeks, I’ lost my friend, my best friend, and as the weeks have followed the end seems closer.

2015 was never going to be a good year, and by the looks it might be the last year.

: A D D I C T I O N

I could compare you to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. You were the reason for many of my highs, and all of my lows. 

You were not a friend, nor a lover, you were an addiction. 

I treated you like a junkie treats their addiction

Morning after morning, night after night, you were the thing on my mind.

Without you, I broke, I sweated, I relapsed to depression. 

You were my heroine, my addiction, my killer. 

Then I stopped having you daily, I lost you completely, cold turkey. 

Junkies sweat, I cried. 

Junkies get angry, so did I.

I had my bad days, I had my good, but through all of them, I still wanted only you.

1 months past, and I’m feeling better, you’re no longer filling my veins, nor is your name. 
I don’t expect the bad days to stop, you were my best friend, my best addiction, but now you’re gone, and the bad days are less, and the good days are more

You were my killer, my addiction.

: N O T H I N G

Nothing lasts forever, and maybe that’s a good thing. Having something for long periods of time gets boring, you start to dislike it, you lose the feelings you had when it was brand new. 

I’m starting to believe friendships are like that, without having a break from something, you’ll start to dislike it, or it’ll start to annoy you.

Friendships need to be treasured and secured in the best ways possible, not sucked dry of all the possible fun. 

Having a break from your best friend, a week, two weeks even a month isn’t a bad thing, it can be extremely good having a break from something if it can secure your friendship. Take a break once in a while, it’s like gaming, too much of something can be bad for you. 

: B R O K E N – P R O M I S E

Promises are made and meant to be kept,

The smashing of your thumbs together,

The hugging of your pinkies.

But for some reason, these things are always forgotten,

and the promises you made are always broken.

: H O M E L E S S

This is a house, not a home.

I’ve not had a home for a few weeks now, and I’m starting to forget what home smells like.

This house is big and empty, without much love.

My home, my home had pretty eyes and long hair, perfect noises and unforgettable memories.

I lost my home a few weeks ago, I miss my home.

: U N K N O W N

It’s the times like this when I’m sitting alone, where I start to realize  what I’ve become.

I’m no longer a young happy chap but a sad little slop, sometimes I’m okay and sometimes I’m not, but the times like this when I’m truly alone, my brain goes dark and I become nothing but unknown.



all posts



2015
August
forget. no, regret.
FUCK YOU LAUREN, CANDOUR.
D A R K N E S S
July
S O N G S 
2 0 1 5
A D D I C T I O N
N O T H I N G
B R O K E N – P R O M I S E
H O M E L E S S
U N K N O W N